An "Insidious"(ly) Good Day

    Hot off the presses! I had an amazing day! For the first time since 2010, I got off work early! Such a rare occasion was begging to be taken advantage of. So, I rushed home, and immediately started to plan my afternoon. When suddenly, a small package sitting on my coffee table caught my eye! Eying this mysterious shipment with curiosity and scrutiny, I noticed that it was from LCB (The Le Cordon Bleu Schools of America)! Naturally, I tore it open, and within my hands, held for the very first time, my diploma and certificate of completion from the Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Arts Associates Program!!!
    In addition to receiving my diploma, I was also informed that I would be attending Rihanna's Chicago concert which takes place at the United Center on June 15th at 7:30pm!!! To top that off, I will also be going to see Britney Spears, the reigning Queen of Pop in concert at the United Center on July 8th as well!!! Continuing with the good vibes for the day, I felt it necessary to check my e-mail before heading out to run my afternoon errands. Had I not, I would have completely missed out on a time sensitive message inviting me to attend the private screening of a film by the name of "Insidious"! Now, to address the film....
    "Insidious" is a fantasy/horror/thriller from the makers of "Paranormal Activity" and directed by James Wan. The story follows a family and their struggle to find a way to save their son and prevent a disaster after he becomes trapped in another realm referred to as 'The Further'. At first glance, this film can easily be passed off as yet another shock value film that fails to impress, but do not be discouraged. James Wan presents us with a solid story that is genuine terrifying in nature. Demonic possession, astral projection, haunting, psychics, and ghost hunters are all topics that have been played out and done to death. But thanks to actress Rose Byrne (who also plays Dr. Moira MacTaggert in the upcoming X-Men film) we are provided solid performance of a woman who is genuine terrified for her life and for her family.
     Now, I know this sounds A LOT like "Paranormal Activity", but it really isn't. PA failed to actually terrify most audiences until the very end of the film. PA was also plagued with the replays of what was "recorded" and relied solely on that to scare audiences with the mystery of it all. "Insidious" allows us to experience that fear first hand as we get to observe the terrifying nature of what is occurring on screen with very little warning and little to no anticipation of what will happen next. Don't misunderstand me, it's not the greatest movie in the world, but it most certainly takes many strides in right direction.
    At 102 min, "Insidious" takes us along for a ride that's bone chilling and occasionally humorous. Wan manages to lighten up the mood by inserting characters that could only be seen as satire or gimmicks, but are instantly seen as serious. I found myself laughing at moments, only to be petrified immediately afterward. It was as if I were an eight year old boy again trying deperately to watch a movie I knew would give me nightmares. I even held my hands up to my face and watched the film through the cracks between my fingers just in case an unpredictiable moment occurred. I literally sat in my chair cringing in fear, from the sheer possibility that evil had finally arrived. Three cheers and one girlie scream for "Insidious" for showing us what a true horror film should be.

Rating: 4 Stars (maximum is five)

"Sucker Punch"

    Lately, going to the movies has been a little difficult for me. I work mornings & early evenings at an organic restaurant by the name of Nana. Since my return from my amazing Bahamas vacation, the business at the restaurant has maintained a busy and steady pace. As a direct result, my hours there had increased to the point where seeing and accurately criticizing a film would have been impractical (not that I'm complaining). The week following my return from the Bahamas included filming for Food Network's Diners, Drives, & Dives (DDD) with television celebrity Chef Guy Fieri. While this will inevitably do wonders for business at the restaurant, I deeply disagree with our restaurant being included on the that particular show. Nana, is neither a diner, a drive, or a dive and I slightly resent having our fine dining establishment included on a show that highlights places like Chicago's White Palace Grill... Nevertheless, we filmed what should be a great segment to a future episode and plowed directly onto Localicious (an exclusive party featuring Chicago Restaurants that buy and feature locally grown organic produce) and Chicago Chef's Week (a week in which prix fixe menus are available at select restaurants with seasonal menus). Needless to say, we were swamped and I was exhausted for 2 consecutive weeks.
    Now getting to the most important matter, my synopsis of "Sucker Punch".

    "Sucker Punch" is a PG-13 rated action/adventure/fantasy/drama or epic fantasy from the mind of Zack Snyder. The film follows a young girl by the name of Baby Doll (Emily Browning) who is institutionalized by her abusive stepfather after the death of her mother. Once imprisoned, we are plunged into a fantastic realm of sex and heroism as she struggles to cope with her harsh reality, and the decisions she must make in order to obtain her freedom. Along the way, we are introduced to cast of characters that are menacing, memorable, and beautifully reticent.
    Make no mistake, while "Sucker Punch" seems to be aimed at teenage action fan-boys, this film manages to stir up enough emotional content to dissuade those seeking only visual titillation. The concepts driven hardest by the film are tough life questions that many of us ponder, but are rarely afforded the chance to actualize. What will it take to survive? Am I strong enough to persevere this? How far will you go to save the life of someone you hardly know? The movie poses these questions and more, and does very little to actually answer them. Through a series of journeys through Baby Doll's imagination we are exposed to myriad of environments that act as pop culture references. "Black Swan", "Kill Bill", "Inception", "Lord of the Rings" (or "The Hobbit"), "Repo: The Genetic Opera", and many more can be seen within the 109 minutes that "Sucker Punch" is.
    It can be said that the overall arching theme of many films released over the last year has been a woman's fight for survival (see "Black Swan" and "Winter's Bone"). Emily Browning's Baby Doll, fights for her life in this visually fantastic adventure that crosses the lines of three separate realms of reality. A round of applause for Zack Snyder who also co-wrote the film. Could it have been better? Most certainly. But this is not a film that was meant to answer questions. It is only a tool with which one should use to inspire conversation and provoke thought.

Rating: 3.5 Stars (maximum of 5)

Inaugural Post

    I'm not entirely sure if this is the proper way to start a blog, but I imagine that someone that eventually reads this will let me know what they think. That being stated, I've never written a blog before. In all honesty, I haven't written anything of importance in almost 4 years now. I tend to be a heavily opinionated person, and I love to share my thoughts with others. I suppose I assimilated this habit by watching far too much bad TV and virtually idolizing Roger Ebert doesn't help either. I can be very wordy, and I occasionally take a little too long to get to "the point" (not unlike most of Stephen King's published works). By the way, I love Stephen King, and if he ever reads this I hope he knows that he completely consumed nearly two years of my life as attempted to read everything he has ever published. Now getting to the point, I sincerely hope that this blog, not only helps readers avoid films that could be potentially hazardous to the psyche, but I hope it helps me improve my ability to write, and focus.
    That being said, I would like my first frontal lobotomy by discussing the film "Beastly". For those of you who don't know, "Beastly" is a CBS Production that stars Alex Pettyfer (I Am Number Four) and Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical). The film is based off of a book of the same title written by Alex Flinn. It is a attempted reinvention of the classic tale from Beauty and the Beast. The problem of remaking classic tales, is being compared to a formula that we already know and has worked in the past. This movie falls incredibly short of any classic fairytale, and all of it's incarnations over time. While the lead actors most certainly fulfill the physical requirements for the roles, the fall incredibly short with talent. Alex Pettyfer plays Kyle, a high school heartthrob that is revered by his classmates because of his physical appearance and his father's fame. As Kyle, Pettyfer has to exert no real effort to portray a stuck up, self indulgent, alpha male with daddy issues (see his role in "I Am Number Four"). His shortcomings with this role are in his mild attempts to be sincere with his advances toward the young Lindy (Hudgens).
     In this film, Hudgens needs only to walk around looking pretty to fill the shoes Lindy. Lindy is a scholarship student with daddy issues, but she remains distant from the "cool kids" simply because she doesn't care to be one of them. Now, I can't say that Hudgens did a particularly bad job, just that she did the best with the material in which she was provided.
     But all is not lost with this film. There are surprising moments of humor and sincerity which is provided by Neil Patrick Harris. Harris plays Will, a blind tutor that is eventually hired by Kyle's (Pettyfer) father to educate him while in his urban isolation. Will (Harris) remains this film only shining star. This character offers comedic relief with style and ease that comes only to someone with the credibility of Harris. Aside from him, the rest of the cast remains lost in a sea of cliche dialogue.
     I suppose Mary-Kate Olson's return to the silver screen is warranted with her role as Kendra, the brooding goth girl who happens to be an all powerful witch that lives in the heart of New York City. Same as with Hudgens, Olson's Kendra only a mere shell of what she could have been. Kendra struts around with presence and ferocity, but the overall effect leaves us wondering if the emo movement really died out with the band Good Charlotte.
    In the end, I can't say it was God awful, but it most certainly could have been much better. All I managed to learn here, is to simply be nicer to the ugly people of the world. Save your money, and either buy Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" now on Diamond Edition Blu-Ray DVD release, or rent "The Beautician and the Beast", because even Fran Drescher's laugh is better than this.

Rating: ** (system is based on a maximum of 5 stars)