Inaugural Post

    I'm not entirely sure if this is the proper way to start a blog, but I imagine that someone that eventually reads this will let me know what they think. That being stated, I've never written a blog before. In all honesty, I haven't written anything of importance in almost 4 years now. I tend to be a heavily opinionated person, and I love to share my thoughts with others. I suppose I assimilated this habit by watching far too much bad TV and virtually idolizing Roger Ebert doesn't help either. I can be very wordy, and I occasionally take a little too long to get to "the point" (not unlike most of Stephen King's published works). By the way, I love Stephen King, and if he ever reads this I hope he knows that he completely consumed nearly two years of my life as attempted to read everything he has ever published. Now getting to the point, I sincerely hope that this blog, not only helps readers avoid films that could be potentially hazardous to the psyche, but I hope it helps me improve my ability to write, and focus.
    That being said, I would like my first frontal lobotomy by discussing the film "Beastly". For those of you who don't know, "Beastly" is a CBS Production that stars Alex Pettyfer (I Am Number Four) and Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical). The film is based off of a book of the same title written by Alex Flinn. It is a attempted reinvention of the classic tale from Beauty and the Beast. The problem of remaking classic tales, is being compared to a formula that we already know and has worked in the past. This movie falls incredibly short of any classic fairytale, and all of it's incarnations over time. While the lead actors most certainly fulfill the physical requirements for the roles, the fall incredibly short with talent. Alex Pettyfer plays Kyle, a high school heartthrob that is revered by his classmates because of his physical appearance and his father's fame. As Kyle, Pettyfer has to exert no real effort to portray a stuck up, self indulgent, alpha male with daddy issues (see his role in "I Am Number Four"). His shortcomings with this role are in his mild attempts to be sincere with his advances toward the young Lindy (Hudgens).
     In this film, Hudgens needs only to walk around looking pretty to fill the shoes Lindy. Lindy is a scholarship student with daddy issues, but she remains distant from the "cool kids" simply because she doesn't care to be one of them. Now, I can't say that Hudgens did a particularly bad job, just that she did the best with the material in which she was provided.
     But all is not lost with this film. There are surprising moments of humor and sincerity which is provided by Neil Patrick Harris. Harris plays Will, a blind tutor that is eventually hired by Kyle's (Pettyfer) father to educate him while in his urban isolation. Will (Harris) remains this film only shining star. This character offers comedic relief with style and ease that comes only to someone with the credibility of Harris. Aside from him, the rest of the cast remains lost in a sea of cliche dialogue.
     I suppose Mary-Kate Olson's return to the silver screen is warranted with her role as Kendra, the brooding goth girl who happens to be an all powerful witch that lives in the heart of New York City. Same as with Hudgens, Olson's Kendra only a mere shell of what she could have been. Kendra struts around with presence and ferocity, but the overall effect leaves us wondering if the emo movement really died out with the band Good Charlotte.
    In the end, I can't say it was God awful, but it most certainly could have been much better. All I managed to learn here, is to simply be nicer to the ugly people of the world. Save your money, and either buy Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" now on Diamond Edition Blu-Ray DVD release, or rent "The Beautician and the Beast", because even Fran Drescher's laugh is better than this.

Rating: ** (system is based on a maximum of 5 stars)