Don't Be Afraid of The Dark

    If there is one thing that all people regardless of race, ethnic or cultural background share, it would be a child's fear of the dark. There is something foreboding about dark spaces and the things that may dwell within them. Famed director Guillermo Del Torro presents Don't Be Afraid of the Dark a horror/thriller remake directed by Troy Nixey (no film credits of mention).
    Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is the story of Sally, a young girl girl sent to live with her father and his girlfriend. Sally becomes the target horrendous creatures that hunt her for their own purpose. While this film is NOT directed by Guillermo Del Torro, it bears his trademark affinity for fairy tale creatures and their lust for blood and children. I can't really say that this movie is scary, I spent the entire time waiting for something truly terrifying to occur. The only moment that I found startling was shown during the trailers for the film.
    Horror isn't what it used to be and probably never will. While I have not seen the original Don't Be Afraid of the Dark I am told by others that this one does not compare. Why is it that filmmakers feel that good movies need to be redone? Why cast actors like Katie Holmes, that do little justice or credit to the original works ? In a day and age where ingenuity and breaking the mold will take a film very far, I feel that producers are sticking to tried and true formulas too closely and leaving very little space for free thought. Take James Wan's Insidious for example, it's a simple yet extremely effective horror film that spoils nothing. Unexpected terror lurks in virtually every scene of this small budget box office hit. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark fails to hit that tenor of terror required to cause buzz. Altogether it is disappointing and Del Toro's name does nothing but draw in the masses for what is an inevitable let down.

Rating: 1 Star (Maximum of 5

Fright Night 3D

    With a deep sigh of relief I am pleased to say that while original films are essentially a thing of the past, a well-done remake can actually be refreshing. In the year that I was born, the original Fright Night was released to critical accolades ("An Outstanding Horror Film..." - The Motion Picture Guide). It is a classic black & white film that at the time of it's release was probably terrifying.
    In 2011, Fright Night has been revamped with a new cast, a new setting, and a 3D overhaul. Starring Colin Farrell are the Vampire neighbor at large, Fright Night 3D follows teenager Charlie Brewster as he uncovers the horrors of the Vampire realm.
    Tacky has never looked or felt so good. From genre cliches to dazzling displays of gore, Fright Night aims to please fans of vampires and horror. While the 3D element is rather subtle, it is often and intentionally jarring when sudden spurts of blood or viscera fly toward the screen at alarming rates.
   While the storyline doesn't deviate very much from the original, the updates are effective and realistic. David Tennant (Doctor Who) plays Las Vegas Vampire/Hunter headliner with pizazz. Plus, Las Vegas makes an excellent setting to be a hot seat for the undead (Lindsey Lohan sighting anyone?). This is an excellent prelude to fall horror flicks. Definitely enjoy this movie for everything that it's worth.

Rating: 3.5 (Maximum of 5)

On the "Yellow Brick Road"

    Rarely am I drawn to horror films. Typically, I find them to be perverse and unimaginative. My personal understanding of the cinematic experience is that we are embarking on a journey into the imagination of the writers & the directors. The cinematic experience is best described by the song "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. When this vision comes across to the viewers, the translation from mind, to paper, then finally to the screen, it can become muddled and trite. This is obviously what happened with Yellow Brick Road.
    Written and directed by Jesse Holland and Andy Mitton, Yellow Brick Road tries in earnest to tell the story of how the entire population Friar, New Hampshire marched to their deaths and an aspiring writer's journey to document the truth of what really happened. A great premise, but not executed to it's fullest extent. The movie starts off feeling a lot like The Blair Witch Project, and similarly amounts to nothing but creepy circumstance and unexplainable phenomenon.  The film delivers no real reason to care about the characters and even less to answer the many questions that it presents.
    I still can not fully understand how a completely classified event could simply be discovered by a simple writer of no extraordinary background or merit. I am even further baffled by the ease at which the official records for the "classified" event were obtained! I'm fairly certain that classified documents don't just get handed over to random people! I get really upset when incredibly illogical events occur in cinema... If it doesn't make sense then it should never leave the cutting room floor!!! There isn't too much more for me to say about this film. Had it been edited properly it would have been better released as C-Level made for tv mystery and not classified as a horror film.

Rating: 1 Star (maximum of five)

An "Insidious"(ly) Good Day

    Hot off the presses! I had an amazing day! For the first time since 2010, I got off work early! Such a rare occasion was begging to be taken advantage of. So, I rushed home, and immediately started to plan my afternoon. When suddenly, a small package sitting on my coffee table caught my eye! Eying this mysterious shipment with curiosity and scrutiny, I noticed that it was from LCB (The Le Cordon Bleu Schools of America)! Naturally, I tore it open, and within my hands, held for the very first time, my diploma and certificate of completion from the Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Arts Associates Program!!!
    In addition to receiving my diploma, I was also informed that I would be attending Rihanna's Chicago concert which takes place at the United Center on June 15th at 7:30pm!!! To top that off, I will also be going to see Britney Spears, the reigning Queen of Pop in concert at the United Center on July 8th as well!!! Continuing with the good vibes for the day, I felt it necessary to check my e-mail before heading out to run my afternoon errands. Had I not, I would have completely missed out on a time sensitive message inviting me to attend the private screening of a film by the name of "Insidious"! Now, to address the film....
    "Insidious" is a fantasy/horror/thriller from the makers of "Paranormal Activity" and directed by James Wan. The story follows a family and their struggle to find a way to save their son and prevent a disaster after he becomes trapped in another realm referred to as 'The Further'. At first glance, this film can easily be passed off as yet another shock value film that fails to impress, but do not be discouraged. James Wan presents us with a solid story that is genuine terrifying in nature. Demonic possession, astral projection, haunting, psychics, and ghost hunters are all topics that have been played out and done to death. But thanks to actress Rose Byrne (who also plays Dr. Moira MacTaggert in the upcoming X-Men film) we are provided solid performance of a woman who is genuine terrified for her life and for her family.
     Now, I know this sounds A LOT like "Paranormal Activity", but it really isn't. PA failed to actually terrify most audiences until the very end of the film. PA was also plagued with the replays of what was "recorded" and relied solely on that to scare audiences with the mystery of it all. "Insidious" allows us to experience that fear first hand as we get to observe the terrifying nature of what is occurring on screen with very little warning and little to no anticipation of what will happen next. Don't misunderstand me, it's not the greatest movie in the world, but it most certainly takes many strides in right direction.
    At 102 min, "Insidious" takes us along for a ride that's bone chilling and occasionally humorous. Wan manages to lighten up the mood by inserting characters that could only be seen as satire or gimmicks, but are instantly seen as serious. I found myself laughing at moments, only to be petrified immediately afterward. It was as if I were an eight year old boy again trying deperately to watch a movie I knew would give me nightmares. I even held my hands up to my face and watched the film through the cracks between my fingers just in case an unpredictiable moment occurred. I literally sat in my chair cringing in fear, from the sheer possibility that evil had finally arrived. Three cheers and one girlie scream for "Insidious" for showing us what a true horror film should be.

Rating: 4 Stars (maximum is five)