Breaking Blah

   I  have noticed that a lot of people are infected with something that can only be described as "The Blah". Symptoms include sore throat, scratchy voice, congestion, mild fatigue, and general malaise. I've been feeling this way for a few weeks now along with a few of my friends. It most certainly doesn't help anything that I've been at home all day everyday these days. Alas, all I can do is wait it out and hope to God it doesn't continue through Thanksgiving.

     Moving along, I had the immense pleasure of see Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 with my niece and partner. I waited to see it because I did not feel like viewing it in a theater packed with people that would irritate or annoy me. So we saw an early Saturday morning show that only had a handful of people who were silent and respectful. The film started and we were instantly transported into a world where emotions are restrained, forced, and generally laughable. Breaking Dawn Pt 1 is essentially all about Bella... actually all the Twilight films are about Bella but I digress. In this movie Bella (Kristen Stewart) gets married to her vampire boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) and gets pregnant. That's the most I can say without spoiling anything else.

     Taking a departure from the previous films, new director Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) opts for a film with more visceral imagery and a more literal translation from the book. Condon gives us the opportunity to "hear" the voices of the "wolves" (technically they are shape-shifters) which previously was avoided. While it was refreshing and effective for the development of the film, the thought-speak felt relatively awkward and contrived. Although I do commend the writers for doing a great job with the wedding. The nuptials were short, the ceremony was quick and the wedding toasts felt almost unscripted, adding to their humours beliveability. I found that the subtle humor in the character interactions made this film.

     The rest of the movie was just kind of blah for lack of a better word. Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off and spends a lot of time running on all fours. That's about it. I could go on about the great make-up job the did on Kristen Stewart and how flawlessly they transformed her character from beautiful Bella Swan to an emaciated pregnant corpse. Outside of great make-up the film's best moments are in the final 20 minutes in which a plethora of frenzied activity culminate to Bella going into labor. The credits begin rolling and those who stick around get a scene where the Volturi are informed on the fate of Bella. Now we unfortunately have wait an entire year for the thrilling conclusion of the Twilight Saga and I can only hope that the film will do the rest of the book a modicum of justice.

Rating: 2.5 (Maximum of 5) - While entertaining Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 still strikes out like it's predecessors

Immortals

     I long for the day that I am graced by the presence of a God-like being. Ever since I was a small boy I imagined that I was chosen by a greater power to do great things. Whether it was Zeus or Professor Charles Xavier, I was certain that I was different from other people. Turns out I was just an extremely melodramatic, overly idealistic loner with many flights of fancy. I adore mythology of all origins. I was originally enthralled by Greek mythology in the fourth grade by my teacher professor Ms. Kamberos at the University of Chicago. She exposed me to a world with a far richer history than that of our own. It is because of her that Greece is my dream destination (specifically Athens and Crete). I take my Greek mythology very seriously and judge the films about it harshly.
     This brings me to my movie critique of the week, Immortals a story of evil King Hyperion's (Mickey Rourke) mad quest for a weapon that can destroy humanity by unleashing the Titans. All that stands in his way is Theseus (Henry Cavill), a mortal man chosen by the Gods to defend humanity. Henry Cavill is perfect as Theseus. Young, agile, beautifully sculpted, and sincere, Cavill's Theseus shines amidst the gritty and baron landscapes. The story propels rapidly and manages not to flounder the story with it's pace. Events unfold with efficiency and ease all while captivating the audience every step of the way. Mickey Rourke is just as ruthless and charming as ever in his role as the mad King Hyperion. A warlord hellbent on bringing the world to his knees and becoming immortal through history.
     Now that I mention history, I must say that while Immortals is fierce and imaginative, but do not expect it to follow traditional Greek mythology. The film avoids giving any background or general information on the Gods or the Titans. Those who are unfamiliar with mythology may feel slightly lost amidst the sea of characters and references that are not explained or properly introduced. Here is a brief rundown of what happened...
     Long ago, before the Gods were fashioned, the Earth was filled with great beings known as the Titans. One Titan known as Kronos had several children by a mortal named Rhea. Kronos eventually ate his children in fear of a prophecy that foretold his undoing by his son. A grief stricken Rhea manages to hide her son Zeus from Kronos so that he may live to maturity. Once of age, Zeus confronts Kronos and forces him to spit up his offspring. With his brothers and sister by his side Zeus leads the Olympians into a battle against the Titan. After a decade, the victorious Olympians drive the remaining Titans into a prison buried beneath Mount Tartarus. The Gods that survived were given titles by their brother Zeus and he was crowned King of the Gods for his might and ingenuity.
    Now while the credits tell us that Helios, Poseidon, Athena, and Aries are the Gods we see in the film, only Athena is addressed by name. I only figured out who Poseidon was due to the fact that I knew that the God of the Sea wielded a trident and could crash into the ocean causing cataclysmic computer generated waves. As for Aries and Helios, well they could have been anyone. The movie focus's more on the mortals and their relationships. Such as Freida Pinto's Phaedra, a virgin oracle that is pursued by King Hyperion for her knowledge. Pinto's Phaedra is beautiful and alluring. She does a decent job playing a virgin with hopes of losing her purity so she will no longer be plagued by her visions.
     Do not misunderstand me, Immortals is a veritable cornucopia of flesh and blood. A solid script, beautiful cast, and jaw dropping special effects make this action fantasy an instant hit. I just believe that when making a film about immortals, you should focus on them. In retrospect instead of calling this film Immortals something like The Legend of Theseus would have been more apropos.

Rating: 3 (Maximum of 5) - A special effects extravaganza that manages to miss the point of it's title.